Today my wonderful parents have been married for 38 years. What an amazing inspiration. I, by no stretch of the imagination, think it was easy to get to this point. It would be ridiculous to think so. But I do think it was, for the most part, fun... and I know it was full of love. In a world where over 50% of marriages end in divorce (I can attest to that as growing up I had many friends who had divorced parents - Josh's parents are divorced - and as an adult I have friends who are divorced) it seems even more amazing that my parents are still together. However, here they are. What an example to have. Something to aim and strive for.
Today is also my anniversary. 24 years ago today I had my heart surgery. At the time of my surgery - 1988 - the surgeons literally told my parents they would do what they could. Of the details I do know and understand... well, let's just say what I had for a surgical procedure can't even compare to what is available (and possible) today. To live long enough to have surgery, survive surgery, and then thrive... well. I think it is pretty amazing. Special. Miraculous.
What I find more amazing now as an adult with a wedding anniversary of my own is how such a stressful, terrible, potentially devastating event happened on my parent's anniversary. I remember asking my mom (more than once over the years) why they had my surgery on their anniversary. My mom would simply say, "Well. It needed to be done and that's what was available." But surely... there must have been another day, right? Just schedule it for the next day. Or a week later. Something. Anything but on your anniversary. What a horrible way to spend a day which should be a sweet, memorable reflection upon the vows and commitment you made to one another. Instead of celebrating 14 years of marriage with a date, dinner, flowers... my parents spent their day in a hospital waiting room. What a way to mar a beautiful day. I can't even begin to imagine what my parents and family felt. I can't describe it either. I don't have words.
What I take from this (24 years later at the age of 27) is the lesson of absolute selflessness. It did not matter to my parents what day I had surgery. So what it if was their wedding anniversary? My surgery, my health and recovery, was far more important. And at the same time as I marvel at their sacrifice (only one of countless they've made as parents), I am ashamed of my own selfishness. My only thought year after year is how... how could my parents choose to share such a day? I would never. I couldn't. I wouldn't want to. I am too selfish. Which... is shameful to say when I've had such an amazing example placed before me. This is just another reason why I know I am not ready to have children of my own... but I do hope that if that day does ever come that I will live up to the example I've had.
Nobody is ready to have kids... Not even once they have them!! It's inconceivable to think you could love someone so fiercely and care more about their happiness and well being than your own, but as soon as you see that precious babe you know instantly you would literally do anything for them, even share the date of a beloved event.
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