Sunday, June 15, 2014

40th Wedding Anniversary

On June 15th, 2014, it was my parent's 40th Wedding anniversary. This is amazing and wonderful for so many reasons. I knew this milestone was coming, and I wanted to find something special to do for them. This should be an anniversary celebrated with more than just dinner out. But what to do? I had thought of trying to plan a trip for them to come out to visit us, or do something around Europe, but it just wasn't going to pan out with other life things (as in, we didn't know how much longer we would be in Germany). Plus, I wanted something really special, something more than a trip. But what?

Pinterest came to my rescue. I had seen (more than once) a link to a blog post that someone had wrote where they had sent out a letter to family and friends requesting they write a letter to the father for his 60th birthday. They then wrapped up the letters as a present for the 60th birthday party. Light bulb.What a perfect idea. At the time I thought of this, it was pre-Memorial day in May 2013. I knew between work, school, travel, life, if I didn't get on this idea now, I would never get it done. So. I composed a letter asking friends and family to write my parents a letter for their anniversary. I simply asked people to congratulate my parents on their accomplishment, or to share a favorite story or memory, or just share their love. Fortunately for me, I got married some-what recently, so I still have a large spreadsheet of family/friends' addresses. After writing and editing my letter, I did a mass printing, stuffed envelopes, and set off my letter. Then I just had to sit back and wait.

I realize sending a letter out a year in advance is a bit crazy, but I wanted to give people enough notice, have the time to procrastinate, and then write their letters. Slowly letters started to trickle in. With some help (and pushing) from my aunt and cousin, the rest of my family got on board. I had been saving the letters I received either in a bundle in my hope chest, or in a special email file. Finally it was time for me to get the letter together. I decided to make a book of the letters - a type of scrapbook, if you will. I was worried about my family procrastinating... but in the end, it was me who was working at the last minute. It took me forever to write my own letter, then I took a very long time putting the book together. I was just worried about doing things right. But. I was happy with the end result.





When I started this project, my initial thought was my Mom's reaction - I just knew she would cry tears of joy. It's not that I want my mom to cry, but I was hoping she would be touched deeply by the book. I was right. I wasn't there in person when my parents opening their present, and I didn't see it on Skype... but my Mom was still teary when I talked to her on the phone hours after they looked through the book. It was the reaction I had hoped for.

I am so glad I was able to make them something special for their anniversary. I hope it is something they can treasure forever. A special thank you to everyone who contributed to the book, and a thank you to the family members who pushed others to write letters.

I leave you by sharing my letter to my parents.

Dear Mom and Dad,
What a privilege it was to be the person who witnessed and read the outpouring of love that arrived for you. I read each letter, and I read how so many people feel touched by you. How special it is to know you have created memories and shared moments with friends and family, and these feelings are reciprocated. 
I know I have always held you up as the example for myself – you are what I knew a marriage to be, what a marriage should be. A marriage should be an equal partnership between two best friends. A marriage is fun and full of laughter, but can also shoulder the burden of tears and sadness. A marriage is supportive. A marriage is striking it out through anything together. A marriage is compromise, forgiveness, understanding, and strength above all. Day after day growing up, I saw what a marriage was, and I knew I would never settle for anything less. That was what I wanted. From reading the letters you’ve received, others saw it too, and continue to see it. So, although I admit I am a biased judge, it isn’t just me. You are something special to be celebrated.
It has taken me months to write this letter – and re-write, cross-out, start over. Months of me not knowing what I could say. What words could ever capture what I want to say to you, what you deserve to hear? Everything I can think of sounds trite, overdone, and falls short. After months of thought, all I can say is thank you, and congratulations. Thank you for loving each other and creating the family, home, and life you did, and allowing me to be a part of it. Thank you for making my life amazing. You have succeeded as parents in every way possible. Congratulations. Congratulations for finding love and then holding on for dear life and never letting anything get in the way of that love. Excuses and fear are easy, love is hard. Thank you for not taking the easy path, and congratulations for enjoying the richer rewards the hard road offered.
The best is yet to come.
Love,
Kirsten

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