Bucket List - Aerosmith

I hope everyone has a bucket list. Make a list of things "to do" before you die - things to see, activities to participate in, events to experience. Have goals and then seek them out, accomplish them. My bucket list always seems to grow - it never shrinks, even as I check things off the list, because as I check one thing off, I seem to add about four more items. Which is okay. I kind of like it that way.

I got to experience one of the most amazing bucket list items, something I have been waiting for since I was 16. I got to see Aerosmith live in concert. My all-time favorite band. I have been keeping an eye on European concert tours, just watching to see who comes over and when. I saw Aerosmith was doing a European tour, and it just so happened one of the stops was in Dortmund, about two hours from our house. Sold. Done. End of story.

I felt like I had been waiting for the concert to arrive for endless months... and then suddenly the day was here. I was excited for the the day to end and for the concert to arrive. I had to work a half day, but left work early to drive home and get ready to leave for the concert. Josh got off work early and rushed home. We were on the road by four, and good thing, because we got stuck in construction and traffic. What should have been a 2.5 hour trip turned into almost 4. I was getting stressed out and anxious thinking we were never going to make it to the concert... but we did. We made it on time.

As soon as we got to our seats the opening band started. They weren't great... the entire time they played I felt like it was simply wasting time I could have had watching Aerosmith. Hurry up, shut up, and get off the stage. Finally the time arrived - here we go!!! What an amazing feeling to watch them come out on stage and hear the music start. I feel for the first part of the concert I was simply in awe of what was happening. Starstruck. But then my excitement caught up to me... and the rest of the concert was over too fast.

Amazing. Simply amazing. I SAW AEROSMITH!!  I am so fortunate to be able to see my favorite band in concert. Bucket list - CHECK!

If you don't have a bucket list, make one. Life is short, live it up!

40th Wedding Anniversary

On June 15th, 2014, it was my parent's 40th Wedding anniversary. This is amazing and wonderful for so many reasons. I knew this milestone was coming, and I wanted to find something special to do for them. This should be an anniversary celebrated with more than just dinner out. But what to do? I had thought of trying to plan a trip for them to come out to visit us, or do something around Europe, but it just wasn't going to pan out with other life things (as in, we didn't know how much longer we would be in Germany). Plus, I wanted something really special, something more than a trip. But what?

Pinterest came to my rescue. I had seen (more than once) a link to a blog post that someone had wrote where they had sent out a letter to family and friends requesting they write a letter to the father for his 60th birthday. They then wrapped up the letters as a present for the 60th birthday party. Light bulb.What a perfect idea. At the time I thought of this, it was pre-Memorial day in May 2013. I knew between work, school, travel, life, if I didn't get on this idea now, I would never get it done. So. I composed a letter asking friends and family to write my parents a letter for their anniversary. I simply asked people to congratulate my parents on their accomplishment, or to share a favorite story or memory, or just share their love. Fortunately for me, I got married some-what recently, so I still have a large spreadsheet of family/friends' addresses. After writing and editing my letter, I did a mass printing, stuffed envelopes, and set off my letter. Then I just had to sit back and wait.

I realize sending a letter out a year in advance is a bit crazy, but I wanted to give people enough notice, have the time to procrastinate, and then write their letters. Slowly letters started to trickle in. With some help (and pushing) from my aunt and cousin, the rest of my family got on board. I had been saving the letters I received either in a bundle in my hope chest, or in a special email file. Finally it was time for me to get the letter together. I decided to make a book of the letters - a type of scrapbook, if you will. I was worried about my family procrastinating... but in the end, it was me who was working at the last minute. It took me forever to write my own letter, then I took a very long time putting the book together. I was just worried about doing things right. But. I was happy with the end result.

When I started this project, my initial thought was my Mom's reaction - I just knew she would cry tears of joy. It's not that I want my mom to cry, but I was hoping she would be touched deeply by the book. I was right. I wasn't there in person when my parents opening their present, and I didn't see it on Skype... but my Mom was still teary when I talked to her on the phone hours after they looked through the book. It was the reaction I had hoped for.

I am so glad I was able to make them something special for their anniversary. I hope it is something they can treasure forever. A special thank you to everyone who contributed to the book, and a thank you to the family members who pushed others to write letters.

I leave you by sharing my letter to my parents.

Dear Mom and Dad,

What a privilege it was to be the person who witnessed and read the outpouring of love that arrived for you. I read each letter, and I read how so many people feel touched by you. How special it is to know you have created memories and shared moments with friends and family, and these feelings are reciprocated. 

I know I have always held you up as the example for myself – you are what I knew a marriage to be, what a marriage should be. A marriage should be an equal partnership between two best friends. A marriage is fun and full of laughter, but can also shoulder the burden of tears and sadness. A marriage is supportive. A marriage is striking it out through anything together. A marriage is compromise, forgiveness, understanding, and strength above all. Day after day growing up, I saw what a marriage was, and I knew I would never settle for anything less. That was what I wanted. From reading the letters you’ve received, others saw it too, and continue to see it. So, although I admit I am a biased judge, it isn’t just me. You are something special to be celebrated.

It has taken me months to write this letter – and re-write, cross-out, start over. Months of me not knowing what I could say. What words could ever capture what I want to say to you, what you deserve to hear? Everything I can think of sounds trite, overdone, and falls short. After months of thought, all I can say is thank you, and congratulations. Thank you for loving each other and creating the family, home, and life you did, and allowing me to be a part of it. Thank you for making my life amazing. You have succeeded as parents in every way possible. Congratulations. Congratulations for finding love and then holding on for dear life and never letting anything get in the way of that love. Excuses and fear are easy, love is hard. Thank you for not taking the easy path, and congratulations for enjoying the richer rewards the hard road offered.

The best is yet to come.

Love,

Kirsten

Breathing A Sigh of Relief

Let's backup a few months to January. Prior to January, Josh and I had been living and operating under the assumption we would be in Germany until 2018 - plenty of time to do lots of travel, see the things we wanted to see, buy more cool European stuff... and then move to another base where Josh would finish out his military career, serving his 20 years. That was the plan. There was no reason to think this plan wasn't going to work. Until... all of the lovely talks of cutbacks, and reduction of troops. There is a lot I could say, and want to say, on this topic. But I won't. This isn't the time nor the place to talk about it. Most everyone knows there are cutbacks being made in an effort to save money. One of the cutbacks is to reduce the size of the military. Some of these changes and reduction efforts I agree with, others I don't. But that is neither here nor there.

The point of this is we found out that Josh was on a list (a very LARGE one) of people who were being considered to be kicked out of the military. Well, they were using the terms of "early separation," but I will call it what it is - kicked out. At first when Josh told me about this, I went into a lovely state of denial. There are thousands of people in the Air Force, and of all these people they would not be selecting Josh. He has had a good career and is not a trouble maker. Period. However, as time went on and more details surrounding the selection process trickled in, my denial faded, and Josh and I both found ourselves in a state of panic. Utter terror. The plan we had for ourselves - for our lives, our future - could change dramatically, and we were completely unprepared for it. We have not yet thought about what Josh will do post-military. Well, we have thought about it "in theory," but we have no set ideas or plans, or no plans which we could act upon with a few months notice. We are smart with our money and we have a comfortable savings, but we are not prepared to suddenly lose an income and benefits (but is anyone ever prepared for this?). We might have had to change our life plans with only a little bit of notice. What were we going to do? We did not have a Plan B for our lives... we never thought Plan A wasn't going to work.

At first we were both stressed out and sick with worry - for obvious reasons. Then I swapped into damage control mode. If we were going to be done with the military, we would need to know where we were going. We would have to think of possible job opportunities or training for Josh. We would need to save more to have a larger "emergency" fund. I would need to start networking to try to have a job waiting for me. There is only so much planning you can do when you aren't sure what outcome you are planning for, and you are unsure of the dates. So... I planned as much as I could up until the pointing of knowing the answer - "yes" we're still with the military, or "no" we aren't. Then I shifted my planning to focus on getting the most out of Europe while we are here. If our time was going to get cut short, I didn't want to have regrets, or have less regrets related to leaving early. Hence some of the whirl-wind trips we have done recently.

For the past few months we have been operating in a strange limbo - we are trying to do as much travel as we can while still trying to save money. We are trying to live day to day without obsessing over the giant pink elephant in the room looming over us. Finally, after months of waiting and months of shifting information, we were told a specific date we would have an answer. Josh was relieved - one way or another, he would have an answer. I found myself suddenly sick with panic - this was it. The night before the big day, I had a hard time going to sleep. The day of I was sick - I went through waves of being too worried to eat and feeling like I was going to throw up, to feeling the need to eat an entire pint of ice cream (which I did). The worst part about all of this was at the end of the day, we never even got an answer. Yup. All of that tension and waiting for nothing. However, the next day Josh heard he was staying in the military. Relief and joy flooded through me. Finally, we had an answer. We could move on, move forward, and put this behind us. We could breathe a sigh of relief.

There are some good things which did come out of this process. We now have a tentative Plan B for ourselves. We went on some cool trips and saw/did things I was wanting to do. We also finally indulged in things we had been "waiting" to do. I have wanted to find some antique furniture while we are here to take back with us. It is something which always seems to get pushed aside - we will look next weekend, we don't have the space right now, ect. But faced with the fear we may leave, we finally went shopping. And shop we did! We found some beautiful, unique pieces which we couldn't pass up. We went from buying nothing to buying four major pieces.  Now our dining room is a little full, but I don't mind.

The other exciting addition in our relief shopping spree... is my new car. When we moved here we got Frank the Tank, who served his purpose, but proved to be unreliable. I upgrade to a used VW Jetta, which I have loved. The Jetta has gotten me to and from work and endured many road trips. In less than three years we have put 72,000 miles on this car, and it has only required maintenance. We have been blessed. But, my beloved Jetta has 185,000 miles on it. Sometimes it doesn't love to start, or it will get a bit sputtery when low on gas, and only one speaker is working (which is simply cruel when you are a music lover with a long commute). We have talked before about getting me a different/newer car, but it was mainly talk. We weren't ready to put our money were our mouths were. I had finally told Josh that whatever we we heard in regards to his job, I was getting a new car. If we were done with the military and moved back to the states, I got a new car. If we stayed in Germany, I got a new car. Within days of getting our good news we had gone to "look" at cars and bought mine - a 2014 VW Jetta TDI - aka diesel.

I picked out the color. I call her Ruby. She is just a delight to drive, and the gas mileage is AMAZING. I have never in my life had a new car, and I am pretty proud of myself for working to earn this. I have been driving to work, but we need to take it on an inaugural road trip.

Now that we have an answer and we know we will be staying in Germany, we are starting to plan out the rest of our travel for the year. I am really excited about what is ahead, and I am so happy to have that part of our lives behind us. Thank you to those who were sounding boards, supports, and comforters during our difficult times. We are blessed to have amazing people surrounding us. Cheers - here is to the next 4 years in Germany!