Last week was Josh's squadron picnic. His shop had the afternoon off, and he invited me to come to base for this picnic. He had to be there as a volunteer, so I figured this would be a way to meet the people he works with. And meet them I did.
I don't really know what I had envisioned for this picnic, but when I arrived it was on a much bigger scale than I imagined. There were people everywhere (I found out later Josh's squadron has 500 people in it), a MASSIVE grill full of food, a speaker system/DJ, six picnic tables overflowing with food, four coolers full of sodas, and two kegs. Wow. Picnic indeed. I have been reminded more and more lately that deep down I am (or can be) a shy person. As soon as I arrive somewhere new with new people I, for whatever reason I don't understand, clam up and don't speak. I get extremely nervous and want to be around someone I already know. Unfortunately for Josh, this usually means I'm right next to him in all public outings and situations. Borderline clinging. In some cases, beyond borderline into full on clinging. I realized I am a shy person when I had to start high school... and then start high school for a second time in a new state. I was reminded of this again when I started college, then hygiene school. Eventually I meet some people, feel comfortable, and get over any shyness (and by then most people are wondering what happened to the quiet person they met). But, as it is now, I'm definitely still in the "shy" phase. I was nervous about going to this picnic, and the site I arrived to did nothing to calm my nerves. I parked my car and walked along the outskirts of the picnic. To my relief I spotted Josh quickly. I was introduced to a few people in his shop and to his commander. It was my first time being introduced to a "commander" or something of the sort... and I really wasn't sure what I was suppose to do. The fact that the commander was drinking a beer from a plastic keg cup did help to make the situation seem a bit less formal. Josh and I got into the line for food with some of his co-workers. As we were approaching the table with the paper plates, his name was announced over the speakers. He walked over to a waiting MP. I watched him walk away into the parking lot. One of Josh's co-workers asked me if I knew what was going on. I didn't. From where I was standing I could see Josh's car, and he wasn't doing anything in or around it. I told his co-worker I thought it must have to do with my car because he wasn't near his. The co-worker and I decided to dish up and eat without Josh. As he was getting his plate together, he shook the mustard bottle. Something must have been wrong with the lid, because mustard shot out all over and covered me from head to toe on my right side. It makes me recall a memory from when my family was camping years ago. My cousin Keelan picked up a bottle of A1 and - without realizing the lid wasn't screwed on tight - shook it and got A1 sauce all over himself. Did I mention I was wearing a white sweat shirt? The co-worker apologized profusely. He's a young kid... I think he was really embarrassed. I assured him it was okay, I wasn't mad, not a big deal. The co-worker wandered off - again, I think out of embarrassment - and I sat down by myself on a bench. I'm sure it only took me about five minutes to eat my hamburger... but when you are sitting at a crowded picnic by yourself covered in mustard, it feels like a lot longer. I finished my food and was beginning to wonder what was wrong. Where was Josh? What could be taking so long?
Finally Josh arrived. The relief I felt at having someone I knew close by quickly faded as he told me why he'd been called away. My car had rolled out of its parking spot and hit a parked government vehicle. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands. He had to be joking. How could this have happened? My car is an automatic. Do automatics do that? Josh said the car was in drive when he climbed in it to move it. I do a lot of dumb, absent minded things, and I will be the first to admit that I will not win any awards with my driving. However. I can promise I put the car into park. Promise. SWEAR. Swear on everything I can swear on. There was no way I was so excited to get to this picnic that I simply forgot to put the car into park. I did not use the parking brake. But I've always driven an automatic, and I've never used the parking brake. Bless Josh's heart - he told me it was possible for my car to "slip" gears. I've been meaning to google this to see if it is something that is actually possible... or if it's just something he told me to make me feel better. Either way, from now on I will be using the parking brake in every situation. Lucky for me there was no real damage done to the government car - a small black scuff mark on the rim. Frank came through like a true tank and had no visible damage.
We stayed at the picnic only long enough for Josh to get some food. I've never been as thankful for the fact that he is a fast eater as I was that afternoon. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to go, if I didn't want to stick around and try to meet some more people. I assured him - I was covered in mustard, and my car had hit another car. Yes. I was ready to go home. I am also positive anyone who met me that afternoon will remember my name and face. Kirsten Lehman? Lehman? OH YEAH - you're Sergeant Lehman's wife... the one who at the squadron picnic....
Aside from my shyness, there was one other thing affirmed at the picnic. I do not get along with a typical military wife. I told my friend Erin this, and she replied, "Well, are we really surprised by this?" It's not that I am not supportive of the military. Obviously I am - I have to be. I support my country, my husband's employer, and all the military represents and does. However. I'm not one of those HOO-RA, sticker on my car, Air Force logo wearing, bake sale volunteering, military preaching kind of spouses. Just not my style. I also went to college and worked VERY hard to earn a degree in a field I am passionate about. I want to have a job - a job in my career and degree field - not a job at the local daycare or craft shop. I can do a lot of things on my own and for myself. I have Josh - I am grateful and thankful for that - but I don't need him to do everything for me. Josh and I do not have children, and for the record for everyone, NO we do NOT plan on starting a family ANY time in the near or distant future. Not in the cards for us. That doesn't mean it won't be later on down the road, but for now, not planning on it. So... based on all the above stated facts... the other spouses I met at the picnic didn't have much in common with me. I did my best to try to meet people, and a few women came over and introduced themselves to me... but once we got past the pleasantries of our names, where we are from, where our husbands work... we didn't have a lot to say to each other. Nope, no kids. Nope, not planning on any right now. So no, definitely not interested in the squadron mommy and me play group, even if it does meet every week. Yes, I want to work, full time in fact. Actually I am a dental hygienist so I haven't considered looking into the daycare on base. No, I have not considered doing the training to be a "key spouse." No, I don't want to be a part of the squadron fundraising committee. And NO, I do not want to be on the squadron spouse email list. Yes. Not a lot to say to one another.
The men in Josh's shop will remember me for not properly parking my car, and possibly for being covered in mustard. The wives will remember me as "that bitch who..."
At least my reputation proceeds me.
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