After my disappointing news from the base dental clinic, I took a good six hours to myself. For the first part of it I was upset, cried, got mad, cursed plenty, and had a few moments of "why me?" I'm glad I got that out of my system.
I spent the rest of my time thinking about what my options were. I can't get a job as a dental hygienist on base. Okay. I can, however, volunteer somehow on base in the dental or medical clinic. This will give me something to do, and it will get my foot in the door, so to speak. I can get a job with a German dentist. I already did the research into this, and I know it is only a matter of me actually finding a job. There are no extra exams to take, no special licenses. Which is good. It only leaves the task of updating my resume, writing a cover letter, and sending both off in the hopes of finding a job. Not nearly the crisis I had imagined for myself. Then there comes the unavoidable rhetorical question of "But what if there isn't a job out there?" This has been my biggest stumbling block. What if I send out my resume and there is nothing? What am I suppose to do then?
At the end of dental hygiene school, I was contemplating going on to graduate school. Something hard to believe, considering hygiene school is the closest to hell I have ever been, and crying was a daily activity. Dental hygiene school was in no way fun or enjoyable. However. I am a nerd, a geek, a bookworm through and through. I like to read. I like projects. I like to learn. I liked the fact that upon graduation, I was going to go be able to go out into the world and DO something. To some cleaning teeth doesn't sound like a life changing career, or even an enjoyable career. What I had learned at school, more than technical skills, was I was in a unique position to embrace the health care system. Embrace being a health care provider. I don't just "clean teeth" - cleaning is for scrubbing toilets. I have not only the skills to do more than work in the mouth, I have the passion, the drive to be more.
We are at a unique time in the world of health care. Prevention is finally coming into focus, not only in dentistry, but in all aspects of health care. Prevention is key. Prevent something from happening instead of treating the aftermath. An important part of this new venture is realize how everything works together - to treat a whole person not separate diseases. Treat not just their mouth, heart, or blood sugar, but to see the whole picture: how the blood sugar effects the heart, the mouth, how the heart effects the blood sugar, the mouth. If you can treat one - heart disease, periodontal disease, diabetes - you will affect the others positively. The term "systemic health" can be seen more frequently not just in the medical field, but in main stream media as well. It has been stated, predicted, that in the coming years we will see a shift in healthcare as providers, not to just towards the prevention frame of mind, but to becoming more as a health team - an interdisciplinary approach to health. To have not just a cardiologist, a general practitioner, an ophthalmologist, and a dentist who see and treat a patient separately... but to have all of these providers be in communication with one another, to be informed of all parts of a patient's health and to have a holistic approach to treatment.
The idea of systemic health in connection to oral health is something that was hammered into us at school. As a dental hygienist it puts me in the position of doing more than the typical lecture about brushing and flossing. It is my job to educate patients about how their brushing and flossing can and does effect the rest of their body. Being a cardiac patient myself, I always seemed to take this message personally because I could see a direct correlation. In school, we were able to take this education a step further and had to do community projects. My community project was an educational presentation I did for parents of children with congenital heart disease (a topic near and dear to me). I spoke to the parents about the importance of good oral health in relation to their child's cardiac health. After the presentation, one of the mothers who had been listening introduced me to her daughter. Her daughter had to have been about six years old, and when she smiled I saw all of her back teeth were stainless steel crowns. All I could think was thank God your mom came to my presentation and please, please let her have taken away even a small portion of my message. It was at that moment in time that something was awakened inside of me. I had the power and the ability to help others and to make changes. Not earth-shattering changes, life-altering changes... but changes. If it made a difference for one person, that was something. That was all I needed to know. That was enough for me.
I was blessed that my first job out of school allowed me to nurture this passion I had found. Our office participated in multiple health fairs where we would be available to talk to people about their dental health and how it related to their overall health. I, being the nerd I am, created brochures for these events (at my boss's request and with help from others). Many people do not enjoy having to do work outside of the office. If it were doing any work besides this, I would be in the same boat. But I was given the opportunity to see, in real life, what I had been taught in school. Dentistry can, does, and will mingle with the medical profession. There is an important bridge between the two.
When I originally thought about graduate school, it was to continue to receive a Masters in Dental Hygiene. In all honesty, I'm not sure what I hoped to achieve with that degree. I just wanted an outlet for this passion I felt, a way to create something, to DO something. I wanted to be more than a "teeth cleaner". I just wasn't sure how to make it happen. I didn't pursue graduate school right away... mainly for reasons of laziness. I had just gone to college for five straight years, three of the past years had been particularly tough, and I wanted a break. I wanted a chance to read books that were not textbooks, to be able to enjoy spare time... and to enjoy my new paycheck without worrying about student loans. I also thought it would be important for me to get some "real world" experience. So I have spent the past three years getting experience in the "real world," all the while my idea of graduate school has been sitting in the back of my mind. Percolating. Shape-shifting.
In the later part of my six hours of self time, my thoughts turned back to graduate school. What of it now? It is something I could do to fill my time, and it is something productive. Although I am having difficulty finding a job in my field right now, I could do something to help procure a better job later on. The big question was what was it I wanted to do later on? What kind of a job was I wanting, and what was the degree to get me there? I thought about this for a long time... and realized what I really wanted to do was to keep educating people about their health. Yes, I still wanted to work as a hygienist as I love my job... but I wanted to educate people on a bigger, grander, more official scale. What was the degree to back that up? A lot of online searching lead me to the University of Alabama - not a school I would have ever in my wildest dreams thought about. UA offers a Master of Arts in Health Studies. This degree also prepares students to take the national examination to become a Certified Health Education Specialist. A fancy name and title to the thing I want to do. The best part of this program is that it is 100% online distance education - something I would have to have. The more I read about the program, the more I was hooked on the idea. I really wanted to do this. I wanted to go back to school - this school - and get a masters - this master. But did I have the courage?
When I first brought the topic up with Josh, I was nervous. I'm not even sure why. I think I was afraid he would tell me it was a bad idea, or a waste of time and money. I wasn't really prepared to face him rejecting the idea. I had so firmly planted the idea that I was going back to school in my head... I didn't want anything to change it. As I started to stammer out what I had found about online schooling... and how I found something I really wanted to do... I started crying. Which made me stammer and stutter more. No one should be this nervous, especially not when talking with their husband. I think at first Josh was more concerned something was really wrong, or had gone wrong. It took him a minute to get past me being upset to realize that I wasn't talking about some family catastrophe or marital crisis, but going back to school. He smoothed away my tears, told me to stop "being dumb" (his way of saying stop crying), and told me if I wanted to go back to school, GO. He thought it was a good idea. At that moment I was reminded, as I have been reminded so many times before, that I married the right man.
So. I have officially started the process of applying to graduate school at the University of Alabama. I turned in my online application and paid the $50 application fee the other day, so I must be serious about it... I have ordered transcripts from EWU, and have asked for my letters of recommendation. My next task to focus on is to write my Statement of Purpose - a personal essay about why I want to go to graduate school and what my professional goals are. A task that will not be easy or quick. My application is due November 1st. I am hoping to start online classes in January. I am nervous, but excited at the prospect. I haven't said anything to anyone outside of Josh or my immediate family. I was going to wait until I knew I was accepted to say anything. However... it just seemed more appropriate to share the journey, whatever it may be.
One of my favorite comedians once said, "When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... and find someone whose life has given them vodka." I certainly feel as if I have been handed a whole basket full of lemons recently. I'm not sure if I am suppose to be the lemonade, or who the vodka is... but I am going to make myself one HELL of a cocktail.
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